What Learning a New Skill Taught Me About Teaching
One thing I’ve become convinced of is that learning a new skill just for ourselves will actually make us better teachers.
Just like as moms we need time to ourselves to refresh us as humans, we need time to learn something new just for the fun of it. AND in the process we will probably learn a thing or two about teaching.
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By experiencing the learning process from the ground up it gives us a much better understanding of what our children go through every day of their young lives.
This is my story of learning to cross stitch and what it taught me about how my kids learn - and hopefully how to be a better teacher to them.
I wrote this article a year or two ago and never posted it for some reason. So, after a few quick tweaks, here it is…
Needing Another Hobby
I recently started learning how to cross stitch. I'd done a couple projects as a kid - some projects with the blue ink outlining exactly what I was supposed to stitch and where. I remember enjoying it, but I never picked it up again...until this summer.
My oldest kid and I had just finished a 1,000 piece puzzle that took us a week. I realized as I worked on it many nights after sending him to bed, that I really enjoyed it.
So, I started thinking about what might be a similar activity I could do that would be a fun outlet yet not take over my kitchen table. Those old cross stitch projects came to mind…
Prep and Research
While on vacation, I began researching cross stitch projects and found one that I really really liked. It was my goal piece. It inspired me. Now I needed to purchase the supplies and do some practice pieces to make sure I liked it before I spent $50-100 on supplies and patterns for the big artwork.
So, I downloaded a few designs and the day we got home from the beach I ran to Michael’s. I grabbed a few pieces of thread that were required for the simple project I'd found.
One note, I made sure even the practice project was one that I actually liked. There were a ton of really simple cross stitch pieces I saw that totally bored me. Just looking at them kept me from wanting to try. So, I found one that was a little harder (maybe a larger "beginner" piece) and bought it.
During my vacation, I had spent some time watching YouTube videos and finding more pieces and styles that I personally liked. The videos showed me how to start, how to find the center of the fabric, how to actually make a cross stitch, types of stitches, and even how to tie the thread and finish it off.
There was a TON to learn. And it took hours of pouring over the videos and scrolling the "inter-webs." Thankfully I was on vacation so that wasn't an issue.
Embarrassment?!
When I got home and bought the stuff, I got started right away. I was super excited but also nervous (why!?), so I didn't tell anyone at first.
It was almost embarrassing…Why is it that trying something new and different can embarrass us adults?
I guess I felt like others might laugh at me or think I was silly or something. I think I told a friend over the phone before I even told my husband., Sounds like some deep dark secret, right? But it is just a new skill I wanted to learn. A hobby..
And guess what? The first week or two this is ALL I DID. I ignored laundry and housework until it was UNAVOIDABLE. And I just played. The kids played (it was summer break), and so did I.
I'd spend hours during the day stitching. And I had a blast.
And I made a ton of mistakes. Many of these I didn't realize until after I had finished the project.
My kids watched me a little here and there and loved seeing the piece come together. My first item was a penguin. It was a really cute little penguin wearing a blue scarf and inside a snow globe. It came in a set of several of them in snow globes.
That sweet little penguin is still sitting in the bottom of my sewing basket. I haven't done anything with it, but I did have fun making it. It taught me how to make the stitches and keep them consistent. I realized later that I had messed up a bunch of the stitches and done them "backwards" (aka the top thread went the wrong way which shows up when you are looking at the finished product). But, I had fun. And it was all-consuming.
Starting and Quitting
Next, I started on another animal from the snow globe pattern. It was a little dear, again wearing a scarf or hat. And I worked on it for a while until I felt like I had the hang of it. This one I actually made harder by using a small fabric so I had to learn to make smaller stitches.
Then, I decided - before I'd even finished my project - to move on. I had the basics down and was READY FOR A CHALLENGE.
So, I began to plan my "BIG" project. I bought the fabric and the (extra expensive) "floss" (thread). And it was SO pretty. BUT....
Before I started I decided on another project...a birth announcement for my niece who was due in the next few months. So, I found a cute pattern that I liked and made sure the colors were consistent with her nursery decor. Then, I started on that. For the next couple months that was my main project. I spent a little time here and there on other stuff, and even started my "goal" project, but I focused predominantly on the birth announcement. Until it was ready. Then I had to stop b/c she wasn't born yet and the last thing to do was add her birthday and info. Finally after she was born I added the details and eventually got it professionally framed and gave her parents for Christmas. It was such a fun, sweet, rewarding project.
What about my big project? I am still working on it. SLOWLY....along with all my other projects and hobbies (one of which is this blog). [As of publishing this post I am almost finished - about two years later…I’ll add a photo of the finished project soon.]
But, somewhere along the way I became a cross stitcher.
I'm not an expert....let me tell you how many hours worth of stitches I had to pull out of the birth announcement when I realized I had misaligned the border and had to start over.
But, the finished product was something I actually was proud of. It won't win any awards by any means, but the joy I had in making it for my niece and her parents was so worth the redos.
And in the process I learned a ton.
Connecting the Dots
What does this cross stitch story have to do with anything related to homeschooling?
Well, it really has gotten me thinking about HOW we learn. How kids learn.
And how scary it can be.
Nothing makes you feel like a child again more than trying something new. Something you are NO GOOD AT. Something that makes you understand the idea of being a NOVICE. New. No prior experience. And no expertise to bring to the table.
And despite the nostalgia about childhood, none of us really wants to feel like a child again.
How quickly we can be discouraged from our endeavors if someone's words pierce in just the right way or are spoken, however helpfully meant, in a thoughtless way. Thankfully no one "mis-spoke" to me. But, I did feel scared and somewhat silly at first.
And I thought of my kids. Thankfully kids are newer to this world and more used to "not knowing."
HOWEVER, they are just as human as me. Just as ready to shut down and quit trying as I am. If something isn't worth it, or seems pointless, or is completely boring to me then I lose all my interest. And when I lose interest, I don't want to do something. And unless it's something I HAVE to do - like laundry (ugh) - then I won't do it.
And there are times it’s ok to quit. We don’t have to “finish” every single project. Maybe the learning process was the point - not the finished product. It’s ok to let them work on something and then move on.
Also, I made sure the initial project I worked on was actually interesting to me. Even though it was harder. I’ve seen kids tackle something “too hard” because they were interested in it. And I’ve seen kids “bomb” stuff not because it was too hard but because it bored them to death.
So what then?
I guess my advice, if I have any to share, is that I'd suggest spending some time in your kids' shoes. Learn something new. Start from the ground up and learn a new hobby - something you have absolutely NO (or practically no) experience with. And learn it till you're decent at it. To the point where you can say "yes I cross stitch too" - or whatever your chosen hobby may be.
I'm no expert when it comes to cross stitch, but I have spent thousands of hours teaching and learning about teaching and learning (B.S. & M.Ed.) and yet I had so much more to learn. Textbooks and college courses didn’t teach me everything there is to know about teaching. And SO MUCH about teaching can be learned by simply learning something new ourselves.
And my main point is that we are all alike. We need to see the point in something, be encouraged in our baby-efforts, and pursue things for the joy of them.
Perhaps next time my kid expresses an interest in a certain niche subject, instead of saying "let's look at that later." I'll say...let's explore that together. And maybe I'll be brave enough to help my child pursue their hobby and know that as they learn and grow from that experience it will prepare them to be brave learners (thank you Julie Bogart for that term).
And then maybe they will WANT to learn more NEW THINGS.
